Spotting a transit worker on the platform, my wife informed him of bag’s location. “Tell him,” he replied, jerking a thumb at one of the express train’s conductor who was running toward them. “I know,” the conductor told the Mrs. after she repeated her story, and then he jumped back on the train and announced, again via loudspeaker, that it was being put back into service. And so, late for an appointment, my wife inexplicably jumped back onto the car that contained the unattended bag, which was still very much unattended. On the car with her, she told me, were approximately 15 people, some of whom had never gotten off the train while it was being held in the station. When my wife, who is a fashion designer, first got on the train, she noticed the woman with the handheld because she was wearing a beautiful chiffon top with puffy sleeves and sateen shorts. (“It was sophisticated and hot—an Yves St. Laurent flashback from the 70s,” the Mrs. told me when describing the outfit. That is how she talks, in an Australian accent, no less.) And, according to my wife, not only did the hottie with the handheld remain on the train while it was held in the station, she didn’t notice the still-unattended bag until the train had started moving again and a heavyset woman sitting next to the Mrs. began talking about it. “Whatever happened to ‘If You See Something, Say Something’?”, wondered the heavyset woman.

“I did say something,” my wife replied.

“Why didn’t I get off?” said the woman in the chiffon top suddenly sounding alarmed.

“Why are we still on here?” said the heavyset woman.

Answered my wife: “I don’t know